You can't take me anywhere....
You will all be happy to know that I will NOT be helping any neighbors with their blow-up Halloween decorations. I think I've been scarred enough for a lifetime. The thought of a giant pumpkin doing naughty things with me gives me the shivers. I would never be able to eat pumpkin pie again. For anyone who missed last years activities, I was molested by a giant blow up Santa doll while attempting to help my neighbor put it up. When I hear the phase, "I get horny even when the wind blows", well... all I can think about is Santa. Bad Santa, bad bad Santa.
Anyway, back to Halloween. I remember the days when everyone was either an angel or a bum. I even remember those horrible plastic costumes with the plastic masks that had those rubber bands on the back that ALWAYS snapped and stung you in the face....ahhhh good times !! Recently I was costume shopping with my daughter while she was looking at the 1,000 or so costumes on the wall. I was amazed at the number of costumes and more amazed by the price ! To distract myself from the bill I was about to receive after she chose her costume, I decided to try on some of the wigs they had displayed. This was fun for me and humiliating for my daughter. A win win situation if ever there was one !! Then I realized how many people before me must have tried on the same wig and I got grossed out. Here I am telling my daughter to never share brushes or hats with anyone and her jackass mother is in a store trying on wigs that many idiots like myself must have put on their heads before me. Ack !! So I decided it would be cool to turn on all the scary displays at once. I got reprimanded by a teenage boy by the name of Joel. I was prepared to grab a plastic sword and duel it out with Joel, but something told me Joel wasn't the type to kid around with. Obviously Joel took his job very seriously as I later saw him rearranging the wedding dress on the skeleton woman while looking down her cleavage. Poor Joel, maybe he will get a promotion and work with the manequins in Macy's where he can get an eyefull of some plastic hooties instead of some dead decaying skeleton hoots!
Oh well, my daughter decided to be a punk pirate princess (I have no clue what that is, I just paid for it and got the heck out of there before I had to witness what Joel might do with the animated troll)
Everyone behave !!
He can do what ever he wants with those trolls. They deserve everything that's coming to them!!!
Just be thankful that you were moving when you were near him otherwise he may have mistaken you for a life size barbie doll .....
Posted by
Unknown |
3:15 PM
Ohhh Spy, I could so picture myself trying on wigs with you and then getting grossed out about it later lol
Well I wouldn't be too hard on Joel, word has it that SOME people like to put socks down male manican's pants AND RUN...HMMMMMM..hahahaha
Don't you just love Halloween? ;)
I spelt manican wrong I know..it has a 'q' in it or something but do you think I care? Nooooo...(Ok, I do care, you can fix it for me later) =)
Posted by
Cinderella |
4:27 PM
Poor Joel. I wonder if he worked at the adult toy store if he would behave the same way. Face it, it's like the Halloween store; lots of costumes and toys. Maybe he'd steal off to the storage closet with his "blow up bride" and molest her until he was a little more ... ummm ... satisfied and happy.
~Jef
Posted by
Anonymous |
4:37 PM
I feel so unloved right now.
Posted by
flounder |
11:59 AM
Nice bling on your page.
Posted by
Bat |
8:32 PM
Gareth ~ He said that while he enjoys the trolls, he'd much rather have himself a leprechaun...I figure I'd warn you in case some young man comes knocking at your door asking for candy....hehe
Shannon~ I have no clue what you're talking about in regards to a mannequin and socks *innocent look*
Jef ~ If it was an adult toy store, I'm wondering what else I would have been trying on, those tight s&m outfits chaffe too much (so I've heard)
besides, I wouldn't want to get between Joel and his blow up bride...seriously....I really WOULD NOT WANT to get BETWEEN them....yikes !
FLOUNDER !! ~ You've found me !.....I've been trying to go back to some of my older blog buddies but I lost the links and I'm just trying to get back in the swing of things and find the time to do so....You are loved !!...I'll be stopping by your place in a bit to say hello and to catch up on your life.....how's that lil boy of yours???
ShoeDiva ~ Fashizzle ma nizzle.....next I gets me some grills....:)
Posted by
SuperSpyGal |
9:33 PM
I'm starting to warm back up to you dear.
The little man is spectacular, thank you.
Posted by
flounder |
10:09 AM
I sent you an email but I don't know if you still use that old address from your previous blog. Hope you got it anyway :)
Posted by
Unknown |
4:21 PM
Stay away from the big blow up ghosts too!! It could be a haunting experience LMAO!
I once and only to you I would confess this too. I once took all the Christmas bears at a Kmart and put them in some compromising positions.
Have a great weekend and I wanted to let ya know it is a girl!!
Posted by
Linda |
10:47 AM
Hello Hello!
HAHA i remember your encounter with santa, don't front you know you liked it. Although Mrs Claus still has a hit out on you.
That sounds like one awesome costume for your daugther, I still have no idea what to be this year ACK.
Joel, sounds very lonely
Posted by
Phats |
12:56 AM
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